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  • Rethinking Myself

    2011 - 10.09

    It has been said that there is nothing life that is certain except for death and taxes.  I would have disagreed with everyone because there were some completely immutable facts about myself…that have now changed.

    1. I am a-political. When I was growing up, my dad was very active in volunteering for the local candidate for his preferred political party.  We always had a sign out at election time, but I didn’t really care much.  I voted in every election as far as I can remember, but was sorta “meh” about the whole thing.  A few years back I went to the Iran rally down at the Vancouver Art Gallery…and now I’m significantly more interested in politics, especially since we’ve got ’em and so many places don’t.  Now, I’m the union rep for my school and am realizing fully how damned important it all is. Myth? BUSTED.
    2. I’m lazy. I’ve often thought this about myself, but here’s the thing.  Despite much preferring to lie on the couch and read instead of going to the gym, I have ALWAYS done tons of stuff.  It’s not just because I don’t know how to say no (although that’s certainly part of it) but that I LOVE EVERYTHING (except usually going to the gym) AND WANT TO DO IT ALLLLLLL!!! Ever since high school, I’ve always had at least one job, and often two or three.  I’ve always been active in some kind of art or craft or music thing, especially if it was self directed.  I’m starting to come to the realization that I’m a bit of a work a holic. Myth likewise busted.
    3. I’m too sensitive.  I’m finally coming to the realization that I’m just sensitive enough.  I like who I am most of the time, and I like that I can make other people feel better.  I like that I feel deeply, and I like that I can make other people feel deeply, especially through my writing (I should write more poetry…).  Maybe I tear up at kitten ads, but y’know what? I like that about myself. Myth again? Busted.
    4. I’m wishy washy.  I’m not.  I like things I like and there’s nothing you can say about it.  When I care enough about something, I go for it.  Just because conversations with me about where we should go for dinner usually end up with me not really caring doesn’t mean I don’t have deep needs to have things go my own way when it matters to me.  I think that’s the big thing…when something is important to me, I’ll go over hell and high water to get it.  Ask Dave about the six months before we moved out sometime.  I think I might’ve been working three jobs at that point, plus job hunting, plus finishing off the last of my teaching certificate, plus apartment hunting, plus a multitude of other things that I don’t even remember because I was working three jobs and job hunting and… etc.  While I often honestly don’t really mind what movie we see or what other unimportant things are floating around, I will fight for the stuff that I feel is important.  Final myth for tonight?  Also busted.

    One Response to “Rethinking Myself”

    1. JC says:

      See? Getting older ain’t so bad. Comes with this stuff called clarity. Wonder which myth will clear up tomorrow:-)

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